Neckbeards are totally rad, and the ladies obviously can't get enough, but maybe it's time to try something a little less scruffy to keep the snow off, like the Discrete Neckgator. It's made of a super-soft and seamless polyester that'll keep your mug warm without causing people to run away when they see you, not that your neerd ever did that, and it's fully breathable to keep your mustachsicles to a minimum. You can switch things up, too, and rock it on your head to keep the sweat off when you're hiking for pow turns or shredding some summer singletrack.

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